The Sad State of Neighbourly Relationships

Many years ago, I wrote a piece that included these sad statistics, saying that when surveyed, more than half of those asked said they wouldn’t ask their neighbours for help with anything. At the same time, 70 per cent admitted they didn’t even know their neighbours’ names, and only 6 per cent said there was a strong sense of community in their area.

The Irony of Neighbourly Surveys

Yet another tragic neighbourly survey found that more than three-quarters didn’t know what their neighbours did for a living and revealed that 3.5 million people had never even seen anyone living next door.

Mind you, for what it’s worth, in an advertisement for Guinness, Vic Reeves famously said, “88.2% of statistics are made up on the spot,” so perhaps you should take these internet surveys with just a pinch of salt.

A Living, Breathing Community

So, to prove a point, I added just a soupçon of such condiment into the mix in the form of some names – Beryl, Andy and Maggie, Ester and Derek, Annie and Sarah, Carina and Robbie, Warren and Caroline. I could go on. And I will; Andy and Maggie have gone, replaced by Chippo and Gavin, while Beryl has moved on to pastures new – and the new occupants at number 60? They don’t have a dog.

Those names proved that those living in my street were not the faceless shadows these surveys suggest but a living, breathing community. If you were walking down my way and asked anyone on that list, ‘What’s it like living around here?’ I’m pretty certain they’d say the street has its issues, but neighbours aren’t one of them.

A Throwback to Simpler Times

While we all know each other and meet almost daily, we’re not in each other’s pockets, and we don’t like to gossip – unless it’s about our dogs. Perhaps we are throwbacks to distant times, central casting creations from a British 1950s black-and-white movie or a 1980s episode of Terry and June – but better that than Shameless.

Are We the Neighbours from Hell?

Having such wonderful neighbours leads me to one conclusion – are we the neighbours from hell? Having known everyone for so long now, I’ve even asked. Apparently, we are not.

I don’t know why we have been blessed with such thoroughly nice neighbours, the sort that are kind, considerate, helpful, and willing. But I do have a hunch.

The Secret to Our Sense of Community

Whether those survey numbers were crunched accurately, I don’t know. What I do know is this: our little part of suburbia is pretty unique. We have a sense of community because we are a community – we are dog walkers.

The True Key to Neighbourliness

So let me add the most important names to that list – our dogs. Jack, Chips, Lucy, Bella, Buttons, Edger, Foggy, Milo and, of course, those no longer with us in body but always present in spirit – Millie, Oscar, Teddy and especially Lennon. Sadly, all those on that list have now passed over the “Rainbow Bridge”.

The Bonds They Created

Our furry friends and canine companions were the ultimate icebreakers and the ambassadors of neighbourly friendship. It didn’t stop there; during the COVID-19 lockdown, I set up a community IT help desk and made bread for our neighbours. And sadly, it’s not just the dogs we’ve lost.

The Glue That Holds Us Together

So, while the dogs are long gone, the connections they made are just as strong. They made our little part of England tick and are the glue that holds this neighbourhood together.

The Best Advice I Can Give

So take my advice – want to know your neighbours? Want to know yourself? Get a dog.