Writing as a Compulsion

If you are reading this, then you must have worked out that I love to write. It’s one of those things I do; give it a few days of inactivity, and like a humid summer day, it gets almost unbearable. I start to sweat, words of prose exiting my pores as if I were on a treadmill.

I’d probably still sit here churning out content like a gym bunny fixated on the posters on the wall, even if nobody read it. Obviously, I’m addicted to exercise. Must be the endorphins or something. Now, while I write for fun, I don’t write for the fun of it. The aim is that someone, anyone? Come on. Reads the stuff.

Social Media, Necessary Evil

To get my message out and build an audience, I know I will have to do more with social media. Until now, that’s been fine; nothing much, just regular posts on LinkedIn and now a few tentative posts on Facebook. I’ve also been using Mastodon and Medium in the hope of extending my reach. I know it’s a long road with no shortcuts, and I just have to bide my time and keep writing.

The Problem with X

I also know that I should up my game with X, and this is where I’m having problems. If you have read any of my work, you may already know that I’m not a big fan of social media. It’s how do you say, well, not very social. I’d even go so far as to say that, at times, it feels like the work of the devil, should he, her or they exist.

I don’t mean that in some abstract way or a literal device, but quite literally. It’s like a porthole into hell. It’s not so much the language but the unwavering belief that you are right and that I am wrong. Well, that and the pure hate for anyone who dares to hold a contrarian viewpoint to your blinkered view of the world.

Binary Battles and Bubbles

I’m not saying you are wrong. Or right. In fact, whatever view you hold, no matter how niche, fringe, or bonkers. Whether on the left, left of centre, centre right or right on edge. No matter how virtuously, vigorously or insanely they lay out their position or defend their corner. Someone else says the exact opposite.

It seems like everyone lives in their own bubble of logic or fractious indignation. Little planets with their own gravity and poisonous atmospheres. A polarised binary galaxy just waiting for the big bang.

Holding My Nose

It’s been a while since I used X, and all it took was a few hours to remind me of why I walked away from this cesspool. It stank back then, but it seems to be rotting from the inside out, and the stench now is unbearable. Even so, I’ll try holding my nose for as long as I can.

I want people to read my work, and I want them to engage with the blog, so I have to endure the odour of this Faustian pact. X, has become a battleground of absolutism, a place where nuance and reason go to die, and outrage fuels engagement. Wrath it’s Raison d’être.

Still Trying

I don’t want to win the debate; I want to be part of it, to be the voice of reason. I want to reason and be reasonable. I don’t want to fan the fires but pour oil on troubled waters. Yet all it took was an hour on X to realise such talk is incompatible with the platform.

And yet, I still try; I’ve tried a few times with a few blog posts that I want people to engage with. Yet X scares me. It’s a beast, and I know that trying to hold my nose while I engage with the monster is perilous for my sanity and mental health. It’s a toxic, dangerous substance, and that leaves it open to abuse.

A Faustian Pact

I know it’s no accident, for the very properties that make it so destructive build followers. The very thing you wish to harness. The platform’s incentives reward the very behaviours that make you want to scrub your brain with bleach.

I just need to remember that X is a tool, not a home. So, I will try holding my nose for a while longer while I try to get my message out. I know that if you dance with the devil, you shouldn’t be surprised if he puts his hands on your ass. But that doesn’t mean I have to put up with it.