I Like Wearing Caps

I like wearing caps,

‘Cause they make me seem kool.

I know what you’re thinking —

I look like a fool.

Before you dismiss that

Right out of hat,

Come down and join me,

And we’ll both look like prats.

You’d never catch me

Wearing a hat,

But I could be telling you

Porkpies about that.

My partner, for starters,

Would chuckle at that fact.

She’d say, “Why bother?

You’re already a prat.”

I cackle and prattle,

And walk out the door —

Guess what I’m wearing?

A hat made of straw.

(My inexcusably expensive Borsalino Panama.)