No Such Thing as a Free Plane

There’s an old adage that states, “there’s no such thing as a free lunch,” and while that may remain true, perhaps it’s time to update the world-worn saying to: “there’s no such thing as a free plane.”

Let me put it another way. It’s always been a dream of mine to own a chateau in France, but I don’t have the cash to fund my vision.

However, if you were to come to me, cap in hand, keys in the other, saying, “it’s yours” with one proviso: you just have to renovate the property to the standards of a boutique hotel, I’d be forced to say thanks, but no thanks.

Sure, it would be a nice gesture, but I don’t have the money for legions of plasterers and armies of plumbers. I couldn’t fund the tea and digestives, let alone hire canny, chirpy chippies.

However, if you said, “Don’t worry, someone else is picking up the tab,” I’d say thanks. The chaise longue goes over there. And mind your head on the chandelier.

Now Read: Boeing 747-8

No Such Thing as a Free Plane

There’s an old adage that states, “there’s no such thing as a free lunch,” and while that may remain true, perhaps it’s time to update the world-worn saying to: “there’s no such thing as a free plane.”

Let me put it another way. It’s always been a dream of mine to own a chateau in France, but I don’t have the cash to fund my vision.

However, if you were to come to me, cap in hand, keys in the other, saying, “it’s yours” with one proviso: you just have to renovate the property to the standards of a boutique hotel, I’d be forced to say thanks, but no thanks.

Sure, it would be a nice gesture, but I don’t have the money for legions of plasterers and armies of plumbers. I couldn’t fund the tea and digestives, let alone hire canny, chirpy chippies.

However, if you said, “Don’t worry, someone else is picking up the tab,” I’d say thanks. The chaise longue goes over there. And mind your head on the chandelier.

Now Read: Boeing 747-8

Now, instead of chateau, read Boeing 747-8. A 400 million dollar “gift” from the grateful people of Qatar (joke). And rather than hordes of artisan craftpersons, you have gangs of high-level, Yankee White, cleared Department of Defense personnel and contractors. And don’t worry, the taxpayer is paying. You see the extent of the issue.

According to the orange one, this would be a quick, easy and cheap fix for the thorny issue of replacing the ageing Boeing VC-25As that currently fly under the callsign Air Force One. Yet it would be none of those things.

King Donald and the Flying Throne

Now, it’s all very well for King Donald to say, “I mean, I could be a stupid person and say, ‘No, we don’t want a free, very expensive airplane,’” as he told reporters. “I thought it was a great gesture.” But he might as well be King Canute.

The “airplane” in question, a luxury 747-8 once owned by Qatari royalty, is, as you’d expect, fitted out like a flying palace. It may overwhelm the tastes of many, but it’s miles from what’s required to serve as the primary transport of the most powerful man on Earth.

Flying Fortress, Not Flying Fish Course

Air Force One is much more than just an aeroplane or a callsign.

It’s a flying White House, with facilities, bunkers, and hardened communications capable of sustaining secure contact with the National Command Authority even in a nuclear crisis. Or a war. And it needs to be built like a brick outhouse. That “free” plane may look like such a throne on the outside, but the reality is wildly different.

Air Force One is built to survive the end of the world. The Qatari pretender to that throne? Built to get you to the end of the fish course.

“Trump is a man whose ego needs so much massaging, he needs a Massage Gun to the head.”

Trump’s Flying Crown

Most of that subtle, restrained Qatari decor that Trump is such a fan of would have to be stripped out. And while some might say that’s no bad thing, to make the 747-8 suitable would mean yanking it apart and rebuilding it with secure communications, EMP shielding, missile defence systems, and redundant power infrastructure.

The cost would be colossal. The timeline: utterly unrealistic. The risk: off the scale. The Commander-in-Chief might as well be commanding that it be gilded in unobtanium. But that’s not the point of all this. With a stroke of his pen, Trump can countermand the military minds and the Secret Service, which simply asks that common sense prevail when protecting the president. Common sense my arse.

Stupid or Evil?

Trump is a man whose ego needs so much massaging, he needs a Massage Gun to the head. So let’s call this out for what it is: a flying crown. And in the coronation of King Trump, this is the jewel in the crown. The thing that says Look at me, I’m the king of you.

Is Trump even aware that it’s that obvious? Who knows? Is it that he just feels what he does is right? Or he does it despite knowing it’s wrong. Or is it that he really does not give a shit — after all, that’s where true evil lives. A genuine Narcissist.

King Canute, Revisited

So the question that has been burning at me ever since his inauguration is this: Is Trump stupid? Or evil? And since I’ve never thought he was stupid, I guess it’s evil. That is unless he’s really, really stupid, and if he gets his way, I guess we will find out.

Suppose he overrules the mechanisms designed to protect the president, and the USA can’t save him from himself when it crashes (metaphorically or literally)? King Canute could not hold back the waves, yet King Trump expects to hold back the tide and the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and misadventure simply by commanding them.

19th May 2025
Additions and corrections.

Originally, I ended the piece here. However, on hearing that Trump had accepted the gift of the 747-8 from the Qatari royal family, something suddenly dawned on me. And it kind of answers my question about Trump’s stupidity.

He’s not stupid. But he is evil. From the very start, I believe his intention with the “airplane” deal was for it to stall. Pun intended. If, as I suspect, that happens, the entire issue of using the 747-8 as a donor aircraft, or cannibalising it for parts to support the existing Air Force One replacements on order, gets bogged down in red tape and bureaucracy. All the issues I outlined, now weaponised.

Trump’s aim? For it to become a Gordian Knot. A big, stinking boondoggle. A mess that drags on and on. Delay. Flimflam. Filibuster. Paralysis by process. And guess who wins?

Stall for four years. In that time, the Qatari 747-8 is serviced, maintained, and kept airworthy. All at the expense of the US taxpayer.

Then, assuming he leaves office and doesn’t try to cling on, his consolation prize is that very aircraft. It’s his. There’s no longer any requirement for it to serve as Air Force One as he’s no longer president. Bingo. QED. A personal flying palace. A luxury liner of the skies. Free. Gratis.

Advance to Go. Collect 200 dollars. After all, it’s just Monopoly money to him.

Genius, perhaps. But still evil.

20th May 2025
Additions and corrections.

“The Trump administration has accepted the controversial gift of a Boeing 747 jetliner from the government of Qatar, and directed the air force to assess how quickly the plane can be upgraded for possible use as a new Air Force One.|

I rest my case. Drops Mic.. A 400 million dollar “gift” from the grateful people of Qatar (joke). And rather than hordes of artisan craftpersons, you have gangs of high-level, Yankee White, cleared Department of Defense personnel and contractors. And don’t worry, the taxpayer is paying. You see the extent of the issue.

According to the orange one, this would be a quick, easy and cheap fix for the thorny issue of replacing the ageing Boeing VC-25As that currently fly under the callsign Air Force One. Yet it would be none of those things.

King Donald and the Flying Throne

Now, it’s all very well for King Donald to say, “I mean, I could be a stupid person and say, ‘No, we don’t want a free, very expensive airplane,’” as he told reporters. “I thought it was a great gesture.” But he might as well be King Canute.

The “airplane” in question, a luxury 747-8 once owned by Qatari royalty, is, as you’d expect, fitted out like a flying palace. It may overwhelm the tastes of many, but it’s miles from what’s required to serve as the primary transport of the most powerful man on Earth.

Flying Fortress, Not Flying Fish Course

Air Force One is much more than just an aeroplane or a callsign.

It’s a flying White House, with facilities, bunkers, and hardened communications capable of sustaining secure contact with the National Command Authority even in a nuclear crisis. Or a war. And it needs to be built like a brick outhouse. That “free” plane may look like such a throne on the outside, but the reality is wildly different.

Air Force One is built to survive the end of the world. The Qatari pretender to that throne? Built to get you to the end of the fish course.

“Air Force One is built to survive the end of the world. The Qatari pretender to that throne? Built to get you to the end of the fish course.”

Trump’s Flying Crown

Most of that subtle, restrained Qatari decor that Trump is such a fan of would have to be stripped out. And while some might say that’s no bad thing, to make the 747-8 suitable would mean yanking it apart and rebuilding it with secure communications, EMP shielding, missile defence systems, and redundant power infrastructure.

The cost would be colossal. The timeline: utterly unrealistic. The risk: off the scale. The Commander-in-Chief might as well be commanding that it be gilded in unobtanium. But that’s not the point of all this. With a stroke of his pen, Trump can countermand the military minds and the Secret Service, which simply asks that common sense prevail when protecting the president. Common sense my arse.

Stupid or Evil?

Trump is a man whose ego needs so much massaging, he needs a Massage Gun to the head. So let’s call this out for what it is: a flying crown. And in the coronation of King Trump, this is the jewel in the crown. The thing that says Look at me, I’m the king of you.

Is Trump even aware that it’s that obvious? Who knows? Is it that he just feels what he does is right? Or he does it despite knowing it’s wrong. Or is it that he really does not give a shit — after all, that’s where true evil lives. A genuine Narcissist.

King Canute, Revisited

So the question that has been burning at me ever since his inauguration is this: Is Trump stupid? Or evil? And since I’ve never thought he was stupid, I guess it’s evil. That is unless he’s really, really stupid, and if he gets his way, I guess we will find out.

Suppose he overrules the mechanisms designed to protect the president, and the USA can’t save him from himself when it crashes (metaphorically or literally)? King Canute could not hold back the waves, yet King Trump expects to hold back the tide and the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and misadventure simply by commanding them.

19th May 2025
Additions and corrections.

Originally, I ended the piece here. However, on hearing that Trump had accepted the gift of the 747-8 from the Qatari royal family, something suddenly dawned on me. And it kind of answers my question about Trump’s stupidity.

He’s not stupid. But he is evil. From the very start, I believe his intention with the “airplane” deal was for it to stall. Pun intended. If, as I suspect, that happens, the entire issue of using the 747-8 as a donor aircraft, or cannibalising it for parts to support the existing Air Force One replacements on order, gets bogged down in red tape and bureaucracy. All the issues I outlined, now weaponised.

Trump’s aim? For it to become a Gordian Knot. A big, stinking boondoggle. A mess that drags on and on. Delay. Flimflam. Filibuster. Paralysis by process. And guess who wins?

Stall for four years. In that time, the Qatari 747-8 is serviced, maintained, and kept airworthy. All at the expense of the US taxpayer.

Then, assuming he leaves office and doesn’t try to cling on, his consolation prize is that very aircraft. It’s his. There’s no longer any requirement for it to serve as Air Force One as he’s no longer president. Bingo. QED. A personal flying palace. A luxury liner of the skies. Free. Gratis.

Advance to Go. Collect 200 dollars. After all, it’s just Monopoly money to him.

Genius, perhaps. But still evil.

20th May 2025
Additions and corrections.

“The Trump administration has accepted the controversial gift of a Boeing 747 jetliner from the government of Qatar, and directed the air force to assess how quickly the plane can be upgraded for possible use as a new Air Force One.|

I rest my case. Drops Mic.