By the time this is online, I will have no idea what latest nonsense has spilled from the lips of Donald Trump. All I do know is that it will be sheer and utter tripe—bilge water of the highest degree. Yet it will be deadly, such is his destructive stream of consciousness.

Mad as a…

I wish I could predict his madness, but it’s like trying to play Top Trumps in bullshit. There was a time when mad as a hatter was a polite way of saying someone’s lift didn’t go all the way to the top—perhaps it’s time we updated that to mad as a president.

There is a thin line between madness and genius—I know which side of the line I believe he’s on. But perhaps he straddles both. He’s undeniably insane, but to have grown to wield such power, there must be more than a spark of genius in there, too.

A Fool, But Not a Stupid One

Love him or hate him—and by now, you might have some idea where I stand—you cannot ignore him! Nor can you ignore this fact: although he may say stupid things, he is not a stupid man. And that makes him so, so very dangerous.

No one rises to such power and influence by being a fool. Yet, as any fool knows, that doesn’t stop him from saying foolish things—again and again and again. That much you cannot deny. But deny me not when I say this: it’s more than just fools who believe him. Trump is a cult—mind you, I may have misspelled that.

The Snake Charmer and The Child Catcher

While Trump’s charms are lost on me, they clearly work on many. For them, it’s a mesmerising mix—the hypnotic charm of a snake charmer meets Chitty Chitty Bang Bang’s The Child Catcher. He is a man who says what he means and means what he says—well, at least for the few nanoseconds he’s saying it. The problem is, he has no filter. None of the common sense he so often claims to possess.

The Birth of ‘Newfacts’

Trump lives entirely in the moment. He absorbs the “facts” as he sees them, compresses, compacts, and distorts them in line with whatever inbuilt daemons, biases, and prejudices have clawed their way to the front of his frontal lobes. And then, out it comes—pure, politically aligned hatred. Lies, lies, and damned lies.

And that’s where it all starts going Pete Tong. Old Eric Blair may have invented Newspeak, but it’s Trump who has perfected Newfacts. If I could resurrect George Orwell, sit him down, and lay out today’s media landscape before him, asking, true or false?—he’d look me in the eye and say, “Are you having a giraffe, mate?”

Welcome to the Alternative Universe

Cue wobbly lines, cue the BBC Radiophonic Workshop’s masterpiece—the Doctor Who theme. Yes, it’s a cliché, but I can think of no better shorthand for the fact that Trump has whisked us off into some alternative universe where, rather than Cybermen (Space Communists) and Daleks (Space Nazis) as monsters, what really scares Trump is the truth. But his very own sonic screwdriver can fix that. Just a second while he rearranges the truth molecules.

The Black Hole of Falsehoods

You see, somehow Trump has found a way to bend the laws of the universe around his little finger. He has become a black hole for falsehoods—sucking them in, crushing them under the weight of his own ego, and beaming them back out as truths. How can it be that a man can take a lie and, by shouting it loud enough, twisting it far enough, and saying it enough times, make it a truth? If that’s not something from a horror movie, I don’t know what is. It’s the universe’s most powerful superpower.

The Myth Consumes the Man

The myth and the man are converging at such warp speed that there is now a danger he will disappear up his own backside—my fear is that he will drag us all up there with him. Now he’s ranting about dwarfs—how many? Seven! Is this Disneyland? Is this what happens when reality is no longer shared but dictated by the loudest voices? Say hello to the world of Newfacts.

If ten years ago I had said how far the truth would fall from grace, you would not have believed me. So believe me now when I say I fear for us all if it keeps on falling at this rate.

The War on Truth

We already have borderline Holocaust denial from Trump’s mini-me, the proto-fascist Elon Musk. And now Trump, in what is nothing more than a plane hijacking, is attacking the disabled! How long before he starts talking about sterilisation? And his cultists start demanding it?

As a salvo in the war on woke, it’s as misguided as it is misinformed. That diversity and inclusion are things to blame is just bullshit—but it is politics. So God help us if by some strange quirk of fate that perfect right-wing bogeyman—the fictitious one-legged, transgender, wheelchair-bound, lesbian, dwarf—was directing air traffic that night. Of course not. But that’s what investigations are for. Wherever the facts and truth lead. Now that’s common sense.

Words as Weapons

Yet as we play by the rules, the rules are being rewritten. Why is it that our old universe still clings to the noble but naive belief that sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me? Wake up. Such sentiments have no place in this war to save the truth.

In the Newspeak world of Trump, words have consequences. Words have become weapons of mass distraction. How long before those words begin killing people? What will it take before the world wakes up and understands this? Trump wields lies like a Claymore. And when fiction becomes fact simply by being declared as such, then truth itself is dead.

The Next Lie is Just an Accident Away

You have been warned—for the next lie is just an accident waiting to happen. For who on earth knows what he will say next or what its consequences might be?